It seems like I've known you forever. Like the past three days have been a lifetime. Oh darling, I just need to express how I truly feel about you.
The way your crooked, unlevelled walls sit in every room with the crust and dust caked on every inch makes me realize that clean is not a true home. You're just showing me how you love to be lived in and I'm all over that ;). Do you remember that one time I put up the cheap curtains up in the kitchen just to hide the stains on the windowsill? Or the time I tried to wipe all the walls, windows and ceiling down and got all those spiderwebs in my eye? Just the other day I found one of those spiders in the shower with me, that was quite lovely.
It was great learning how to properly keep the toilet pump from getting stuck in the tank. You're such a little rascal, I bet that's why our land lady added on $10 for each tennant to pay for the water bill. Drinking the water from the tap is probably one of my favourite drinks in this house. When I get to look down into my glass penguin cup and see little black flecks and various floaties hanging out in my cup. This definitely makes me feel less lonely. It was even better getting to know how the faucet pressure in the kitchen will splash all up and down my clothes when I turn it on. Oh, I know you were trying to get me all soaking wet, well, you succeeded ;).
Well, you know how the ceiling is 6'3"? It was rather silly of me not to realize that my shelf was too tall standing up. You certainly got me there, but I had a good laugh and I took care of it with my hand saw. You know I only lost two fingers, but no big deal! There it sits, all pretty and green and there's only one half of it that got splattered with my gushing blood. I'm sure that'll wash off eventually.
Alas, I believe I've boreded you with all my details of love for your every nook and cranny. I'll just curl up and fall asleep in my corner, it'll be the best feeling since having laid eyes on you.
Love you forever,
Ashie poo
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